I really don’t know what I’m doing. I constantly seek some type of validation as a functioning adult. I mean, obviously I’m doing something right. It’s just that I never feel “there.” I never feel good enough.
The problem is that I seek this approval from everyone but myself I guess. How do I overcome this hurdle? How do I convince others that I’m not lost in the world when I can’t even convince myself? What would make me change my own mind? I just don’t feel confident in making decisions. I’m so afraid that I’ll regret something or that someone will stop liking me that I overwhelm myself with what ifs.
I still could not grasp the fact that weeks from now I would be celebrating my big quarter life birthday. I am having a hard time coming to terms with the age 25. I know it’s just a number but I’d like to think that it’s a milestone. I am no longer part of the”young 20’s” club. 25 sounds like such a real adult!
If you asked my high school self or college self even, where I saw myself at age 25, I would have told you that I would be in a happy, loving relationship. I would be living in my dream grownup house that I could decorate and come home to a wonderful husband and probably to our beautiful son/daughter.
All of this, not the case. But I don’t really mind because I am on the right path and time frame in terms of career. I would say that I managed to be in the industry that I have saw myself 8 years ago - which is banking. I’ve worked so hard to be where I am right now so I’m pretty much pleased with that. Although I know I could attain more.
But whether or not I accomplished everything I had hoped to by 25, and whether or not everything turned out as I had planned, I can’t stop turning 25 from happening so I’m really ecstatic to celebrate. 24 has been a pretty rough year overall but I am excited to see what 25 has in store for me.
Some good advice!
Very good advice. I am going to put this advice to practice starting right now.
I am not, and I don’t think anyone would be comfortable with it.
Yesterday, on the Lord’s day, He confronted me. And I can not “look” at Him cos clearly, I have failed.
Two of my great “friends” have confronted me as well, in a good and loving way. Someone who is loved by everyone shouldn’t be offended, besides, there’s no blessing with offenses.
All these confrontations are healthy and I begin to welcome it. In fact, I plan to confront someone as well. Encouraged by my dear colleagues, I’ll pray and see how God will lead me on this planned confrontation. About time, I should not delay. So, watch out.