1) I kind of regret not going. Really.

2) I hope they could still re-consider me.

3) Need to find a new one, if ever I don’t get it.

4) “How can one man be so endlessly disappointing?” (Alice, Closer) *sigh*

5) Can next weekend get here already? Totes excited to hang.

6) And for the new season of PLL

7) I still want California Maki. Craving unsatisfied: week 2.

8) Looking for more people who wanna bet with me (re: NBA Finals) Spurs FTW, baby! Hahaha

9) Still a bad idea, Dana! Get yo’ shizz together, gurrrl!

I’m pretty stoked to have my very 1st interview tomorrow after almost 5 months of vacay from the corporate world. I hope I don’t messed it up. 

This is it! Time to put my serious~ face on.  

I always end up hurting everyone i get involved with.

I am so not worthy of any love. :(

I think it’s about time to look for a new job online. Exactly what I did 2 years ago.

Hmmmm… 

Let’s see what do we get.

All I do is sit in front of the TV on the bed, my eyes barely left the screen today. I was watching Modern Family, Walking Dead, CSI alternately while I pigged out on four-cheese pizza, cookies, marinara pasta and peach mango pies. I haven’t done anything productive lately, except maybe working out for like 3 nights now. I keep telling myself I’ll sleep earlier, so I can adjust my body clock back to normal, but I never do. I keep telling myself I’ll start dieting but I never do.

I’m PMS-ing so bad. I just want to get out of this house already and travel and get to a place where I can get peace and quiet and where I can be alone and think straight. I just need to be completely alone for a a few good days. I miss my alone time. But guess what? It’s happening in 2 days and I’m pretty fghjkl stoked!

Probably there’s a note on my forehead that reads please handle with care: FRAGILE. But just like any other warning, nobody ever really cared.

I believe that all of us are at least once have been wounded. We have been scarred and despite the many times that we cut ourselves open, tried to suture and heal, we are no longer our same self the ever first time we were cut open. The scar endures and has been our reminder of a bitter past.

I have to say that I have a few number of scars that I’ve been nursing. It may be brought about by failed expectations, childhood frustrations, family issues or maybe some matters of a frail heart. 

We were all wounded, one way or another, nobody has started on a clean sheet. we are all flawed, broken and changed.

It is surprising how people judge us for a single mistake that marked our clean slates and never been vindicated from it, despite our best efforts to amend what has been wrongly done.

Life is as easy as cut, suture and close. Nobody has ever started perfectly whole. We were all broken, damaged and flawed. 

Now is the time to put words into action. For such a long time, I’ve let people define me: who I am, who I should be. I have my own thoughts and they should be considered important even to just one person: me.

I need not let anyone think that I need to be taken care of. I can take care of myself. As subjective and conceited as it may seem, my life is how I make it. If I choose to bum around and keep myself closed up for the whole world to see, then that’s how I make of it.

For such a long time, I’ve told myself that I will change. Change is not the answer to the difficulty of understanding what I did wrong or why I upset people. No, it’s not. The answer is acceptance to what I’ve done wrong and then moving forward.

.

The ladies who know how to hold down a job, a man, and handle everything life throws at them. Honestly, I hate having to live a lifestyle like this from an allowance that I get from my mom. It breaks my heart that she’s still the one who gives me money for my own luxuries like clothes, make-ups, spas, etc., who pays for my bills and so on…  Although she’s not complaining for my expenses and she gives it wholeheartedly, I still want to make SOMETHING out of myself and be able to go to the store and buy stuff or to go out with my friends every weekends and spend on some drinks knowing that it’s MY hard-earned money that i’m passing over the counter.

Anyway, I just want to reiterate how blessed I am to have the coolest, most generous mom ever.  

 One giant post comin’ up.

When you do bad things, people call you a rebel. They say you have problems. But have they ever thought that some do it for the sheer thrill and enjoyment of doing these things?

Yeah, maybe there is an under-lying problem within me that I just can’t seem to find, or maybe I sneaked out, coming home from a night out or a friends house at 4 in the morning, completely plastered.

Either way, I do bad things, and no matter how many times I get in trouble for them, or how many people scold me for doing them, I’m going to do them anyway. All I wanted to do was to get away for a bit. That was it.

1. I miss the old you.
2. Thank you for everything. Even though I couldn’t say it.
3. Help me please. Help me find the answers.
4. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you.
5. I envy you. I wish I could be that happy.
6. Thank you <3 You have no idea how it means to me.
7. I miss the old us. Honestly, it makes me so emotional just thinking about our memories together.
8. I have never met somebody so beautiful on the inside and I really want you to know that.
9. Chill the fuck out, ok?
10. I’m sorry but you’ll have to wait a little more longer.