In this period of silence, I find myself thinking about the “me, a year ago” and the “me, today”. It’s sort of wild, the change I went through (and still going through), which is not exactly as bad as it might sound like. I’d like to believe this isn’t really a change in personality or perspective or priorities. There is just this part of me that was well-hidden before that is starting to emerge on the surface. I’m thankful for that, because everyday I discover more about myself, what I can do, how I can feel and why I am here in every moment that I am. 

Yes. I’m becoming a shoe whore now, but I’m still the nerdy girl who loves to read books and who still dreams of becoming a lawyer. I prefer wearing shorts and dresses than jeans, but I’m still the boyish kid who hates losing to boys. I still laugh at the greenest of jokes, but I’m still the dork who’d rather have a red lightsaber. I’m almost always away from home, but I’m still the “family’s only girl” who would never answer back to her daddy.

My name is Dana Salvani, yesterday, today and tomorrow. 

to be extra  happy, extra generous, extra patient, extra forgiving…  but I don’t feel it as much as I’ve felt it before.

Maybe it’s because I’m having a bad Christmas break due to some people who wont stop doing terrible things until they see you wreck and all? I dunno. I miss the excitement that comes with it, of having to go to work while everyone else is enjoying every moment in there. And maybe  because 2011 screwed up so bad that it changed this place twice like we’re characters in a disaster film.

But maybe, this Christmas and New Year would be the beginning of something rather magical and thrilling, too.

Oh, yes, twenty-eleven did screw up a lot, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t do any good at all. It’s just that the terrible ones seem too consuming that we overlook the things—both little and great—that made us happy. I won’t try to rack my brains at one in the morning to make a list of the good stuff that happened. I do know that these are catalysts to a far greater next year, rather than just simple memories to be kept when the gifts are unwrapped and the fireworks go off.

Happy holidays everyone!

I no longer like another tear falling from my eye,
I no longer like feeling an excruciating pain around my chest,
yet life happens…

It shatters your optimism and breaks you down.
And as life happens, what I only wanted is someone who will give me a hug, kiss me on my forehead and say “everything is going to be all right…”

Perhaps, it was too much to ask.
I already reached my quota of disappointments…
I used to believe in a lot of things. I believe that at the end of the rainbow there’s a pot of gold, that a four-leaf clover will bring you luck. I believe in fairy-tales, prince charmings and a happily ever after. 

When I was a kid, I believed my mom when she said I should stay inside the house in the afternoon because there’s a man who would kidnap me and put me in his big bag. I believed when dad told me I shouldn’t eat fishballs because it will give me cholera. 

I believed in reincarnations, past lives and unicorns. I believe that there’s a devil, an angel and a God. I believed in many things.
As I go on with my life, some of these beliefs were negated. I have learned that some are just legends, some are fictitious, some are true and some are not.

Belief is permanent. A belief will always be a belief, unless someone screw it up… —Brad Geiser (Geiser-Maclang Communications,Inc.)  

Yesterday made me think this way: You know how life is. Sometimes it gives you that moment when things go the way you want them to. In that instance, remember to sing out loud, to dance wildly, to laugh wholeheartedly, to love unconditionally… because pretty soon, that surreal ecstasy and bliss would be over.

Life would go around and bite your behind. Then it’s your turn to wear a frown, to shed a tear or two, to feel everything is a mess.

Because, life is that simple, really: It balances things out; it tries to be fair.

So learn to savor every moment while it’s still there.

I am happy with the people I’ve known and who have stayed with me through the years.

To friendships I have kept and let go…

For people who have accepted me for who I am and all the more loved me for who I am not.

I am happy for a fact that I’ve outgrown longing for people I can no longer have… I only wish them the best.

I am happy for the people, I am with and without…

I may have had lost precious people, things or memories on my journey but a part of me will always be with them.

For every mistake, every failure, every breaking moment, I bravely endured every minute with trust that these are happening for a reason…

They made me who I am today —- tough yet kind, intimidating yet loving.

1) It’s still raining.

2) Perfect cuddle weather — too bad I don’t have anyone to cuddle with.

2) Ang sarap matulog. 

3) Am I evil if I don’t consider you a friend anymore?

4) It’s over. Really.

5) I’ll do it first, and the rest will follow.  Watch them all gone soon.

6) Idk which is better: Not getting what you want or getting what you want but it’s not really how you wanted it?

Some days, you just wish you hadn’t taken the step backward; that you hadn’t crossed the line that you’d drawn yourself, because then, all the what if’s start crawling and clogging up your brain.

Some days, you just feel so good ‘cause you’d been bold enough to let your feelings flow; ‘cause you’d been able to consume all varieties of joy until you find yourself floating in the clouds and smiling until your jaws hurt. 

And some days, you just pray that you were never involved in any of this. 

1) I find boredom much more stressful than work + studies.

2) You say stuff you don’t mean all the time.

3) Or maybe you meant it, just not in the way I hoped.

4) I honestly don’t know what to do now. I hate routines.

5) Fantasy > Reality. Or maybe it’s just me.

6) Can November come sooner?

Yes, I’m busy. My schedule is frenzied. And I’ve been hustling all around the metro for the past weeks. But I couldn’t lie that I’m having great days, also because some certain people were in it, making me feel so good. (cue party rock anthem!)

I avoid every single negative signal someone tries bringing upon me. I’m sorry but I don’t deserve any of that and if you guys want to treat me like that, you should rethink of what you’re trying to do because it’s not going to work, my dears. 

After the fact that I thought I was going to have a horrible days coming up, the outcome was wonderful even if some things didn’t seem to go as planned, I still managed… with so much grandeur and class. Hahaha. If you think I’ll be threatened or be tormented, you are so wrong! I was not molded to be defeated just like that. You guys are not even half-way of my capacity. I mean seriously. Volume wise, quality wise, popularity wise - you can’t match what I have already contributed. I was not even a Cum Laude for Pete’s sake. Hahaha. I think some people just have negative, pure-of-insecurities-DNAs in them that no matter how others will try to adjust and comprehend with them it couldn’t do anything to help. And I don’t think I’ll still like being around with them. I’ve had enough of your b*llshits.

I’m not hesitating to make my move soon. I just want you all to think and get worried. I like to put a little suspense in everything, you know. I think I already got it. All of it. I’m wrapping all of them up and I know for a fact that everything is going to be okay in the end. *winks*

1. you don’t need to share your views/thoughts on every subject 

2. keep your mouth shut

3. never ever tweet negatively about work 

4. if at first it don’t succeed, don’t ever try to fix it again

5. past issues are always gonna bring up no matter how old they are

6. once a liar, always a liar

7. don’t ever try to defend your side when you know it’s a one-sided game already

8. always be the first one to talk to the honcho

9.  it’s really better to remain silent and be thought a fool or the ignorant

10. keep calm and tumblr on