This is sort of like a weekend rant.
Dad thinks I’ve been going out too much lately. True. But that’s only because he probably got used to the girl who spent 2 years working so hard, then decided to take MBA, rarely partied or went out at night or during the day except if it was on a date with mom, RR or cousins and even then I’d be home by 1am, sometimes even earlier. Yeah, that was pretty much my life for 2 years and as much fun that was, I was practically robbed of my social life. I don’t regret a thing, of course. I still had one of the best times with said people but I definitely missed out on socializing with different people, with my best friends, with new found friends.
I spent 2 years cooped up in my own little world that I missed out on what a 23 year old girl should experience. Partying all night, having no care in the world, going home late, sleeping when the sun rises and getting up at 4PM, hangovers, meeting boys, etc etc. And so now I’m trying to catch up on all the years I missed out on. I don’t think dad quite understands that. I texted my mom asking for her take on the issue, but she’s been really bitchy and PMS-ing like crazy lately… She wasn’t been more supporting about my new found social life, though. She was the one who was always telling me to explore my options and see what the world has to offer and I wish I listened to her back then. Moms really do know best.
When the lights don’t glow the same way that they used to
It is neither Christmas nor Valentines. I am not PMS-ing, I just didn’t enjoy lunch.
I’ve been second-guessing myself recently. Is this the industry I’d like to work with for the long haul? Am I happy with how things are going? Am I too tired of being overcritical about things that I just let them be?
I lost it.
I lost my passion for life.
Anyone who would tell me I’m perfectly fine is definitely insane. Or perhaps, I’m too good in concealing things.
I’m sad. I’m lonely. I’m indifferent.
Probably, I’d rather be at home, housekeeping. Cooking, cleaning and taking care of my future kids – For crying out loud, I am single for almost 2 freaking years. But it was a choice. A choice I gladly made and embraced. But things have to be different. I want something new, something that would amuse me, something that would ignite the same passion I have lost.
It has been a cruel world with cruel people.
Believing I am okay is perfectly insane. Some people try to care. Some people are just too insensitive.
It is neither Christmas nor Valentines, I just didn’t enjoy lunch.
I'm good at pushing people away.
RR: Are you mad?
D: No, why should I? It's your life, you can do whatever you want.
RR: I know. But to be honest, I get jealous when you also go out with other guys. I mean, I'm really really jealous. But I don't have the right, so I just sulk it in.
D: Well, thank you. Now we're being honest. I like it more this way.
RR: If you tell me to stop going out with other girls, I will do it. Just tell me.
D: Naaaah.
RR: What?
D: Have fun, you know. There's a lot of pretty girls who like you.
RR: But you know who I really want, right?
D: Don't tell me. I don't need to know.
RR: *frowns*
